Saturday, May 16, 2015

Is it all worth it ...

I wonder. What have i done, what have i achieved? What remains to be done.

It is, perhaps, easier for those with Family. Children. I have none - well one, a son ...

Fruit of my loins. Has a genetic history stretching back to Lincolnshire circa 1580. With many twists and turns though several countries - even has a sort of famous (G,G,G, uncle). How many boys can claim that? And yet, and yet .... he refuses to acknowlege me. A "father" i never was, but AM his sire.

Did i do something "wrong"? Self thinks not - but the fact remains - he never experienced what is now touted as a "real" family. A mum, dad, 2.5 children, brick veneer home with white picket fence. Perhaps a dog, cat , half a dozen hamsters ... mice under the floorboards. Harvey Normal furniture and a 42 inch plasma TV screen.

What he was born into, was a Mum, Dad - both a bit 'theatrical' (hey, it was past the 'swinging 60's and into the 'revolutionary' 70's). Um, his Mum's father was a rather strict, Calvinist, school Headmaster .... which made things sort of difficult. Oddly enough, i really liked my 'Mother-in-law', A blackhead Celt from way back. Have no idea how a  'strict Pom' and a 'rebellious Celt' stayed together for so long. 5 children.

So, my wife (the eldest) was born in Singapore, i liked her, she married me. One son.

Yes, i know, complicated. My own immediate family?
Mother was third child of a country blacksmith. Father was .... not really sure; never knew him.
Know his "history" - but he died in 1945; six months after i was born. O yes, mother and father married long before that .... but have often wondered why.

My father's family were, actually, quite "well off" in Adelaide .. Tooraky sort of people - educated, with servants and stuff..

So, cutting a longish story short - has left me with a sort of wonder as to who i should be; how i should behave - or simply be "independent" and 'make it up' as i go along.

Now, at my age, it's sort of scary.


Davoh said...

.. and, if anyone is wondering what happened to the boy - yes, he has a web presence; and i 'follow him' - much to his chagrin. The problem is that he has chosen a name of his own. And am bound by some sort of honour "allowance" to him, and can't reveal it without his permission.

GreenSmile said...

Ah, the rift not healed yet. I will say, at risk of offending and sounding like judge where I have no business judging, that the conversation he could have with you is an inheritance he should not discard.

Davoh said...

G. Apparently not. But the "rift" is not from my side (long story).

Davoh said...

The boy will have to find his own way ... can only hope that self remains alive to see it ... heh.

Davoh said...

um, perhaps can 'circumvent'"honourable" restrictions and mention
the cheapish movie production of "The Hunter's Club" ... meh.