hospital patience

um. After a 48 hour fasting, (as in no food), and a medically suggested 'Glycoprep' period of bowel cleansing Thursday evening (interesting, if nothing else) for a colonoscopy, and arrangements with 'a friend' (who delights in jokes like "are ya going t ask 'im if 'e'll buy ya dinner afterwards", and singing "Walk like a cowboy") to drive me to Lithgow  - and collect me 'afterwards' .. i dutifully arrived at the 'day surgery' unit at 9.15AM Friday (080411) , and was inducted into the mysteries of 'public hospital question and answer/ take clothes off/sit here and wait'.  Not sure what i looked like, but blue paper disposable hair net and bootees, white backless gown - is not really the sort of attire that self would like to be seen in in public.

They were, however, in the 'pre-op' paperwork, kind enough to suggest that i "bring a book";  as the 'waiting room' entertainment consisted of 1 rather nervous female who insisted on telling the captive audience the problems she had trying to entertain grandchildren during school holidays, 1 rather large old bloke who just grinned at everything, 1 TV set recycling 'Danoz Direct' and formats that were ancient 30 years ago ..
and me, who had psyched self into the 'not here' zone and buried head in Ken Follet's "Hammer of Eden".

Dutifully waited, and waited. Lady with grandchildren was called, and vanished. Large gent with silly grin, called, vanished. Two other people with silly blue paper caps, etc, arrive.

12.30PM Nurse opens door. Says my name, self shuffles off into operating theatre (ho ho) preparation room ... sits on gurney, watches nurse  in some consternation on telephone. "Yes .." she says " 9 .. no, 9 times .. error message .. yes, heat sensor .. OK".  Nurse puts on 'kindly face' .. "Um", she says "we have a small problem", and directs me back into the waiting room. Ten minutes later we are informed that the 'machine' has a burnt out motor, parts are arriving from Sydney and/or Katoomba .. probably another three hour wait.

NUP, think i, that's it, my carefully controlled patience just expired, am outta here so (dramatising a bit) saw Larry outside, who was expecting pick me up at about 1PM, banged on window - "OY, we're outta here", dressed, picked up a carton of Jim Beam and a cask of Traminer Reisling. Came home. Wrote Friday night off .. sort of.