Will relate something that I still can't fully explain.
Some longish time ago, I met with a female. O yes, one of the many. Did we have a “full on”, “full blown”, “fully developed” relationship? Not really. Conversations were limited to “shopping” or “Days of our lives” on TV. She was unlettered, uneducated; mostly interested in collecting damaged or stray animals – which caused me to wonder where I fitted into her picture of life, but that is by the bye, and belongs to a long story.
Her family background was Irish. When young and naive, she married an Englishman who made her life hell. Strict Roman Church indoctrination did not allow her many options. When drunk, as she often was, “the bitter tongue of an Irish fishwife” would be a kind description.
And yet, her heart was pure, genuine; “Fey”.
We shared some good times together, off and on, over these past 14 years. After I returned to South Australia she would come to visit me for several weeks a year, and we would be in regular and constant contact by telephone during the intervening periods.
That ceased when I moved - at the end of March, this year - out of the house that I rented, and had to cancel my landline.
In April I experienced a vague and inexplicable feeling of loss. I rang her phone number on my mobile. No answer, but did not think much of it, at the time. Also rang her mobile number, but some bloke that I had never heard, nor had heard of Bernie – answered; I clicked off.
Last Friday, I went to Adelaide and collected the letters that had been piling up for several weeks.
Among them was a letter from Andrew, her husband. Dated 23 June 2008.
He informs me that on 24 April, Bernie “.. had an aneurism, followed by spasms, then a mild stroke, followed by a major stroke ..”. At the time of his writing, she had severe brain damage, is in deep coma, on life support, not expected to live.
At last contact, 2 July, she is still alive. And so, who knows, is there communication beyond coma.
Am unable, at this time, to write more on this.
15 comments:
That's a long time to be on life support so it doesn't sound. So sorry for you Davo. I hope there's some way you can get to see her.
shit, JT that was quick. The "which bank" recently sent me a letter upping my credit limit another 5K beyond that which i cannot repay .. heh. Might just take up the offer .. heh.
Sorry hearing this Davo. Good luck
So sad. I hope you are ok... and that Bernie's family and friends are doing ok too. What an awful event to occur... There's no solution to these things, is there... just take care of the people that are still here.
Wot? like the bloke next door?
Sorry to hear Davo. At least your sense of humour is still going strong.
davo,
I am sorry for your loss. The spirit, being matter too, keeps going beyond the flesh.
Hugs from the Bear.
Thankyou, all, for the kind comments and thoughts.
Am in somewhat of a quandary about all this. In 2006, my mother was in a coma for six weeks , and was holding her hand when her life finally expired. Bernie was living with me at the time, and was of enormous emotional support. While yes, could probably organise my way up to Brisbane and find out where she now is .. but doubt that I would have the emotional strength to go through that process on my own, all over again. She means rather more to me than I care to admit.
Have sent my thoughts to her and all I get back is a tiny orange glow (my imagination?).
There is, of course, much much more to this story. For the first, platonic, twelve-eighteen months of our relationship her mental state was such that I spent much time trying to talk her out of the desire to “take heaps of Valium, go to sleep and never wake up”. In latter years I tried to convince her to break from Andrew and come live with me. Even offered to marry her, but the Roman church indoctrination “'til death us do part” was always too strong, and she couldn't, consciously, make the break with the conflicts.
Perhaps she has achieved her objective, who knows.
Find out if anyone else is sitting with her. If not, overcome the crap in your head and go be with her. She shouldn't be alone.
You have related this very movingly. i think you will go and see her somehow. If it is not possible then you will be able to link up telepathically. Everything you say reveals how important she is to you.
So sorry - I just swung by from Brownie's - had seen you post comments there for sometime and thought I'd have a little look - this was the first post I read.
Take care - wherever she is in that state she would be quite aware of the thoughts you are having - in a dream state. I'm not religious or anything but I know this much.
And if and when she does die no on ever goes alone - being Irish, no matter the damage done by the church she would have lines of ancestors waiting for her - is are these photos of her? Her face has character. One of my daughters is fey and it has been a hard life for her - but she is not weighed by religion.
best of thoughts
Hang in there Davo.
Some more background ..
Gerry, i doubt very much whether anyone - apart from the local "health" system would be sitting with her. "A" has always given me the impression that he would prefer to see her dead. A complicated soul, is Andrew.
Middlechild - her 'family' "disowned" her when she married the Pom, especially when she moved to Australia .. doubt that there would much in the way of support there (long story).
..but yes, she has ancestors - Celtic. If I fail to bring her "back" .. am sure that they will look after her.
how did I miss this news so long? I am saddened and sorry to hear it.
I hope the poor soul is having the rest and quiet her "healthy and normal" life had not offered her.
I can only imagine how this development might plague you with thoughts of "what if".
Peace, Davo, and hang in there.
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