The Rules

Was trolling back through some of my archived documents - you know the ones, 'folder/folder/folder/etc./et al' and came across this one, and was struck by a blinding flash of insight. THIS is why have been single for the last fifteen years or so.. I had forgotten THE RULES!


THE RULES

The FEMALE always makes THE RULES.
The RULES are subject to change without prior notice.
No MALE can possibly know all THE RULES.
If the FEMALE suspects the MALE of knowing all THE RULES;
she must immediately change some - or all of THE RULES.
The FEMALE is never wrong.
If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was
a direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.
The MALE must apologize immediately for causing said misunderstanding.
The MALE must never change his mind without the express written consent of the FEMALE. The FEMALE can change her mind at any time without warning.
The MALE is expected to mind-read at all times.
The FEMALE has every right to be angry or upset at any time.
The MALE must remain calm at all times,
unless the FEMALE wants him to be angry and/or upset.
The FEMALE must, under no circumstances, let the MALE know
whether or not she wants him to be angry and/or upset.
Any attempt by the MALE to document THE RULES could result in bodily harm.
The FEMALE is ready when she is ready.
The MALE must be ready at all times
If the FEMALE has P.M.S, all THE RULES may be null and void.
The MAN who doesn't abide by THE RULES, is an outcast.