A young man named Johnny bought a donkey from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
When the farmer drove up the next day, he said, "Sorry son, I have some bad news. The donkey is on my truck, but I'm afraid he's dead."
Johnny replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "I can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Johnny said, "Just unload the donkey anyway."
The farmer asked, "What are you going to do with him?"
Johnny said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
The farmer exclaimed, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
But Johnny, with a big smile on his face, said "O yes I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody that he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Johnny and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Johnny said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $798.00."
Totally amazed, the farmer asked, "Didn't anyone complain that you had stolen their money because you lied about the donkey being dead?"
Johnny replied, "The only guy who found out about the donkey being dead was the raffle winner, when he came to claim his prize. So I gave him his $2 back plus $200 extra, which is double the going value of a donkey, so he thought I was a really great guy."
Johnny grew up and eventually became the Prime Minister of Australia, and no matter how many times he lied or how much money he took from Aussie voters, as long as he gave them back some of the money, most of them thought he was a great guy.
‘Hemingway has a hole in his penis so he can think with an open mind.’
Alice B Tolkas
‘I drink to drown my fucking sorrows but the sons of bitches have learned to swim.’
(Alice and Freida quoted by Lin Van Hek in the musical show ‘Difficult Women’ which Hek performs with Joe Dolce).