G'day.Davo's a bit narky t'day so I sent 'im t' bed without any supper. I reckon 'e's getting' t' be a bittuva wuss.
Yesterdy, wuz sittin' out in the backyard under a bush an' heard the car come up th' driveway in th' middle of th' day, so I peeks out an' sees Davo sorta staggerin' in th' back door. I wanders over an' arsts 'im wot wuz wrong. 'E sez it's too bloody hot!.
Garn, I think 'e's gettin' a bit soft since 'e moved t' the city. All 'e has t' do is push wunna them motor mower thingys back an' forth an' lug little 30lb bags o' grass a few hundred feet. So 'e comes 'ome an' collapses fer a couple of hours. An' it wuz only 100. Err, sorta 37C fer them youngies. Can't really come t' grips with all that poncie French centi-pede an' milli-pede sorta stuff. When I wuz a lad, me foot wuz a foot, an' a stride wuz a yard. I c'n remember when we wuz workin' on the wheat stacks up at th' top end o' Spencer Gulf, luggin' th' bags down t' the ketches when they come in. Musta bin over a 100 most days, and the bags were 200lb or so. Keep it up all day, we could. Anyways, mustn't be too hard on 'im, I think of 'im as a youngster, but I'm a sort o' ghost about 200 yrs old; and 'e's getting' on a bit.
Anyways, 'e takes orff all 'is clothes an' 'as a bittuva lie down. Then 'e puts it all back on again an' goes back t' work, so I sez to 'im, " If it's a bit warm fer ya, whaddya puttin' on all that stuff for?"
'E gives me a dirty look an' sez, "You ever tried using a whipper-snipper in a pair of shorts?" Well, can't say that I have. We usester use a sickle and a scythe back in the real old days, before the Ridley Stripper, an' he's got one with a motor on th' handle. But I sees 'is point. Them things flick all sorts a crap onter y' shins, an' all these fancy-pantsy rich people put gravel on the paths. Then 'e has t' put on goggles an' stuff. Sheesh, I reckon if y' can't do a job when yer half nekkid, then there's somethin' wrong with all this dangerous motory an' chemical stuff. Then I sez, "Why don'tcha wear a thinner shirt?" So 'e sez, "Ah, tried that, the sun just burnt through it. Can always soak the thick one in water, and works like a waterbag." Them ayrabs knew a thing or two.
So, orf 'e goes an' doesn't come back 'till 7 or so. Today wasn't so bad, 'e went orf at 8 an' came back at 6.30. 'E's still in a narky mood, 'cos there wuz still 2 hours of daylight left. 'E's slowin' down, 'is old Davo.
Wombat Wol.
5 comments:
I still do my meadow with a scythe.
But I'm not at all old fashioned, mind you. It has an Aluminum snath and plastic grips on the handles. My little dread is that if Austria ever falls off the earth, we shall all have to go out and buy choking, smoking 4-stroke mowers since no other nation seems up to exporting those blades any more.
Gets me a sore back, that scythe. But keep it sharp and one stroke takes out sassafras and sumac that would cold-conk one of those infernal combusted mowing machines.
Gives folks the creeps if I head out to crop the meadow and forget to take off my hooded robe. They only need to be alarmed if I have my ax and am not so formally atired.
mm, I hope that you don't come for me with the Austrian blade just yet GS. Few more things that I need to achieve. (grins)
Loved it. I worked once with another actor who was an aussie. I'll probably take it to him for translation. I tried the "translate into English" program on XP and dang near froze the computer forever.
My Uncle Leo lived his entire life on the family farm in Kingston, Michigan, from 1902 to 1979. He had running water, so long as he made the pump handle go up and down. He was one of the last of his kind--never "upgraded" a thing. The farm house had exactly the same amenities as it did in the 1930's when the county was "electrified" under one of FDRs programs. I must say, however, that HIS lawnmower WAS self-propelled, because he used a goat on a rope to keep his lawn trimmed and fertilized. Smart man.
Thankyou for the comments, Good people.
Wombat should have mentioned that davo has broken two windows and a plate glass door with that bloody whippersnipper. Paid for it himself because the "Insurance" people always seem to find a loophole to winkle into.
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